


What We Always Wanted

by wallywestie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam and Shiro but like it's literally nothing, Childhood Friends, Galaxy Garrison, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Semi-Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 21:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallywestie/pseuds/wallywestie
Summary: “Do you remember when we were kids? How much we dreamed of going into space and being pilots?” Shiro asked after a few quiet minutes.“Yeah, who would’ve known we would’ve gotten more than we bargained for huh?” Shiro nodded as a particular memory came to his mind.Or; A look into Shiro and Matt's lives together.





	What We Always Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the free Shatt Zine Inseparable!
> 
> There's so much amazing work and everyone did so great!

Shiro woke up to a clink and then a loud whispered “shit.” He rolled over towards the ensuite bathroom, rubbing his eyes as he observed his boyfriend putting the toothbrush holder back in place, it must have been what caused the clinking. He smiled to himself at how the other man must have tried to be quiet, but in his sleepy stupor, knocked them over.

He waited for the other to turn around and when he did, his boyfriend smiled sheepishly at him.

“Did I wake you?” Matt asked, coming and sitting on the edge of the bed. Shiro rolled onto his back, wrapping his arms around Matt’s waist as the other pushed some hair away from his face.

“No,” Shiro mumbled back, “come back to bed.” Matt chuckled, cupping the side of Shiro’s face, and stroking his cheek lightly.

“I was going to make you breakfast before we have to get to the Garrison.” Shiro pouted, holding the other tighter.

“I don’t need breakfast; I just want you.” Matt rolled his eyes but climbed back into the bed, nonetheless. Shiro smiled, as he rested his head against the other’s chest once he was settled and kissed it as Matt began threading his fingers through his hair.

“Do you remember when we were kids? How much we dreamed of going into space and being pilots?” Shiro asked after a few quiet minutes.

“Yeah, who would’ve known we would’ve gotten more than we bargained for huh?” Shiro nodded as a particular memory came to his mind.

~

_Shiro knocked on the door of both his neighbour and best friend since he was two. He rolled on his feet as he heard the familiar running of a pair of feet and a calm but stern, “Matt, remember to ask who it is!” Shiro giggled to himself, Matt always forgot to do that._

_“Who is it?” Matt asked through the door._

_“Commander Shirogane.” Shiro said in his best adult voice. He heard Matt start laughing on the other side before the door was opened and revealed said boy and his mother standing just behind him._

_“You’re not a commander, Takashi!” Matt accused as he grabbed Shiro’s hand and pulled him inside._

_“Not yet, but I will be when I’m grown up!” he replied, sticking out his tongue at Matt before turning towards said boy’s mother. Shiro gasped, going up to her and placing his hands on her stomach. “You’re so big! Is the baby going to come out soon?” he asked, looking up at her. She laughed, lightly ruffling his hair and nodding._

_“In a few weeks love,” she replied winking at Matt. “Matt’s going to be a big brother very soon.” Shiro’s smile widened, turning back to his best friend,_

_“You’re so lucky! I want to be a big brother!”_

_“We can both be! And then she can be our co-pilot!” Shiro nodded excitedly. “Now, let’s go to the moon!” Matt exclaimed before heading up the stairs, Shiro quickly following after him. By the moon, they meant build a ship out of pillows, chairs and blankets and pretend to be pilots._

_This was one of Shiro’s favourite things to do. He loved playing with Matt, and he really hoped that their dreams of becoming pilots would come true._

_Later, when their bellies were full and they were dressed in their favourite pyjamas and they were huddled under their pillow fort as their favourite movie played, Shiro turned to face Matt, whispering his name, “Hey Matt?”_

_“Yeah Takashi?” Matt replied, turning towards the other._

_“Do you think we’ll get to be pilots when we’re older?” Matt nodded enthusiastically._

_“I do. And we’ll go on a bunch of missions together and we’ll be the best pilots at the Garrison.”_

_“Yeah, we will be.” Shiro smiled, before turning back to the movie._

_And if Mrs. Holt found the two boys an hour later, asleep and their hands interlaced, well she wasn’t going to disturb them._

~

“Shiro, babe, we really have to get up now,” Matt stated quietly as he watched the clock turn from 6:14 to 6:15. Shiro just groaned, tightening his grip on Matt.

“Don’t want to.”

“I can’t possibly understand how you manage to hate getting out of bed, but still somehow be the head of the garrison. If they only knew how lazy you really were,” Matt teased, receiving a pinch in the side in response. Matt just chuckled, scratching the other’s scalp lightly. “Come on, love. We really have to get up.”

After a few ticks of silence, Shiro finally rolled off Matt, and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.

“I hate you,” he mumbled. Matt just kissed his temple before climbing out of bed and heading towards the kitchen to start on breakfast.

“I’ll see you in a bit, my love,” he said on his way out. Shiro watched him leave the room before standing up and stretching and grabbing his things for the shower. On his way, he smiled at one of the framed pictures on the wall.

It was him and Matt on the opening ceremony of their first day at the Garrison. They had huge, excited smiles on their faces as they stood close together, in their brand new cadet uniforms. He remembered that day as clear as ever, but the night before held a particular more fond and important memory for Shiro.

~

_Shiro and Matt sat in their new shared dorm room, both bubbling with energy and nerves. Tomorrow was the opening ceremony for their first year at the Garrison and both boys couldn’t contain their excitement. Their cadet uniforms were laid out on their individual desk chairs respectively, ready for them to change into them tomorrow morning._

_“I can’t believe we’re finally here, Takashi!” Matt exclaimed, from his side of the room._

_“I know, it’s so exciting. Starting tomorrow we’ll officially be cadets!” Shiro replied. Shiro wasn’t just excited for tomorrow, he was also a little nervous about more than starting at the Garrison. Sure he was nervous to be starting, but he and Matt had been looking forward to this since they were 4 years old, this wasn’t the main cause of Shiro’s nerves._

_All summer, Shiro had been working up the nerve to tell Matt one of the biggest secrets he had been keeping. He had kept it to himself for the last 2 years, he wasn’t sure if it was true. But over the last few months, Shiro realized it wasn’t just a phase._

_Shiro was gay._

_This, as much as he tried to deny it, was something Shiro always knew. He always found boys more pretty than girls, even when he was a kid. When they were in elementary, whenever someone asked him who he thought was the prettiest in the class or in the school, he always said Matt. All the other kids would just giggle and say “You only think that because he’s your best friend!” And before Shiro could respond, Matt would be quick to swoop in and reply, “Well he’s not wrong! I am the prettiest and so is he!” and would pull Shiro in for a hug._

_Back then, Shiro didn’t realize but as he got older, he started noticing more about boys and less about girls. He started noticing how he liked a deeper voice and broader shoulders, over higher voices and small shoulders._

_Though Shiro denied it to himself at first, now, he was proud of his sexuality. And though he knows Matt won’t judge him or stop being friends with him, he was still a bit nervous as he’s never told anyone about his sexuality and finally saying it out loud to someone is terrifying._

_After the two had settled down a bit, and their energy level was significantly lower, Shiro called out Matt’s name, ‘Hey Matt?”_

_“What’s up, Takashi?” he replied sitting up, sensing the nervous tone in his best friend’s voice. Shiro didn’t say anything for a minute or two, before he stood up and sat beside Matt._

_“I want to tell you something.” Matt shifted closer, taking one of Shiro’s hands into his own and began playing with his fingers, knowing it helped the other calm down._

_“You know you can tell me anything, Takashi.”_

_“Yeah, I know. This one is just a bit harder to say.” He took a deep breath, squeezing Matt’s hand before finally saying the two words he’s never once said out loud,_

_“I’m gay.” Shiro looked up at the other, wondering what his reaction would be. A big smile was not what he was expecting._

_“Is that all? By how serious you were, I thought maybe your condition got worse or something!” Matt replied, before pulling him in for a tight hug. “So you do really think I’m the prettiest, huh?” Matt teased. Shiro snorted, shoving the other away from him lightly. Matt just laughed, “I’m happy for you, you know? Did you really think I wouldn’t accept you?”_

_Shiro shook his head no, “It was just terrifying.You’re the only person I’ve told.” Matt’s smile widened._

_“I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me first.” Shiro smiled back, before hugging him again, resting his head on Matt’s chest._

_And if after hours of talking they ended up falling asleep cuddled up to each other, the next morning neither boy was complaining._

~

Shiro chuckled to himself at the memory. They were so naive then. If only 15 year old Matt and Shiro knew that years later, they would be going to sleep and waking up that exact way everyday.

After his shower, Shiro went out into the kitchen, kissing Matt’s head softly before going over to the cupboard and grabbing their travel mugs to begin making coffee for the two of them.

“I have to do grocery shopping after work today, Takashi. I went to go make us some lunch and realized we barely have anything. I can’t believe we let it get this bad.”

“Well the end of the school year is always busy for us. We’re preparing for finals so we both have a lot on our plates. I don’t have to stay too late tonight, so we can go together,” Shiro replied as he prepared their two coffees, noticing himself that they were out of sugar.

“Okay, my love.” Matt smiled, turning off the stove once their eggs were finished and putting them on the two plates that had some toast already prepared. He was planning on making pancakes but they didn’t have the ingredients for it. “It’s eggs for breakfast, since we have zero food.”

“That’s alright, babe.” Shiro chuckled, grabbing the two plates and placing them on the table. “Now, let’s eat and maybe we can stop and pick up something on our way for lunch so we don’t need to get Garrison food.” Matt laughed, taking the seat beside his boyfriend and began eating.

“Sounds good my love.”

~

_One thing people always told Shiro was that he was a natural flirt. He didn’t believe them. From his point of view, he was just being friendly. Because when he was actually trying to flirt, his words would get lost in his throat, or he would just end up turning away and blushing. Like when he first met Adam, when he first went to approach the other and invite him to sit with him and Matt, he ended up tripping over his own feet and spilling his orange juice all over the other, which resulted in him apologizing profusely and a snickering Matt back at their table._

_And Shiro was sure that he had just ruined his chances with him, but somehow, after changing into his spare uniform, Adam still agreed to sit with the two best friends. And when Matt and Shiro returned to their dorm that night, Shiro couldn’t stop smiling and talking about Adam._

_But that was over a year and a half ago and his feelings are long gone for Adam. They had a good run, but ultimately the two decided to stay friends, especially when Adam confronted him about his feelings toward Matt. Shiro denied it for a few moments before finally admitting to Adam that he did feel more than just platonic feelings for Matt, but he refused to do anything about it because Matt was straight and Shiro refused to believe otherwise, no matter how much Adam and their other friends told them he was wrong._

_But this was months ago and Shiro has learned to hide his feelings, at least for the most part._

_“Hey Takashi,” Matt greeted when he took a seat in front of Shiro, who was sitting in one of the quiet study halls, finishing up some homework. Matt was in a red turtle neck that had one single white stripe going across his chest and arms that had a red, weaving pattern inside it. It always made Shiro smile when the other wore it because it was slightly baggy and made Matt look really cute. One time when he wore it and Shiro was loopy on no sleep, he had let it slip how much he liked it and Matt had just laughed before helping the other to bed. And ever since then, Shiro noticed that Matt wore it more often, but he didn’t think much of it._

_“Hey Matt,” Shiro replied, tapping his stylus against the table lightly a few times as he thought about the answer to the question. Matt leaned; over looking onto Shiro’s tablet, trying to see what Shiro was struggling over,_

_“It’s D. Come on Takashi, you should know that one.”_

_Shiro looked up at him pouting before circling the answer. He flicked through the rest of the answers, making sure he circled all the correct ones before sending it off to his professor. He then turned it off and put it to the side, and focusing back on Matt._

_“Any particular reason you’ve come all the way down here, especially on your day off?” Shiro asked._

_“Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to have a movie night? Neither of us have much to do and quite frankly, we haven’t had any quality best friend time lately and I miss you.” Shiro blushed slightly, pushing his hair out of his face slightly._

_“Why wouldn’t you just call or text me?”_

_“I tried.” Shiro grabbed his phone and turned it on to see multiple texts from Matt and a few missed calls from him as well. Shiro rolled his eyes in response, before shoving his phone in his pocket._

_“So what do you say?”_

_“Do I really have a choice?”_

_“Not really, no.”_

_“Then sure,” Shiro smiled. Matt beamed back at him standing up,_

“_Great! Go and get changed and then meet me at my place. I’ll get everything set up.” Before Shiro could get another word out, Matt was already heading out the door._

_Once Shiro was changed and freshened up, he headed over to Matt’s apartment. They were old enough now that the Garrison provided them with their own apartments, instead of sharing a dorm with someone else. You had the option to live with someone else or by yourself. The two of them loved living with each other during the first few years, but both agreed they wanted to try living on their own. But they weren’t too far from each other. Matt’s apartment was in the building beside Shiro’s. It was a quick 5-minute walk from his to the other’s. He knocked lightly on the door before walking into the apartment, knowing Matt would have left it unlocked for him._

_“Hey,” Shiro greeted as he slipped off his shoes._

_“Perfect timing, I just finished making the popcorn.” Shiro smiled, heading over to the bed that was in the left corner. Their apartments weren’t huge, it was much like a bachelors. A small couch in the centre with a coffee table, that was stacked pile high with the assignments Matt had to mark for one of their professors. Perks of being a teacher’s assistant. Shiro was the same, but he usually tested them in piloting rather than paper work, and even if he was doing written work, they usually did it on their provided tablets. The professor Matt was assisting was a bit old-fashioned and for some assignments would rather have them handed in physically. To the right of the room was a small kitchen, where Matt stood pouring the popcorn into a bowl. There was a bathroom after that and then on the left was Matt’s double bed._

_Shiro noticed that the other had already set up their little viewing area, complete with pillows propped against the wall, a blanket to throw across themselves and his laptop set up to the side with it projecting across the wall. He sat down, scooting over to the corner and leaning up against the wall, throwing the blanket over his legs. Matt soon joined him, handing him the popcorn before sliding in beside him and moving the blanket so it was over the both of them. Shiro blushed slightly as they were a lot closer than he expected to be and he knows that they’ve always been like this, no personal space but recently, it’s been harder and harder to be this close to Matt and not feel his cheeks start to heat up, or have his palms become sweaty._

_He really needs to get his feelings under control._

_Three and a half movies later, Shiro was in quite the predicament. There was a snoring Matt on his shoulder and Shiro was in what Adam liked to call his “gay panic” mode. This meant he was frozen in place as he both tried to get his blushing under control, as well as figure out what he should do._

_Now, if this was a few years ago, Shiro would have no problem with this and would probably just lie them down and go to sleep himself. But Shiro a few years ago wasn’t in love with his best friend and thought nothing of it. Shiro now, was a different story. Shiro now was conflicted with either waking up Matt and heading back to his own place to sulk alone his own bed, or sitting there until Matt woke up and then leaving to go and sulk alone in his bed. Both ended the same, it was a matter of how long he decided to wait._

_He ultimately decided to try and adjust Matt and just slip out of the bed. But he didn’t do very well because when he placed the popcorn in the kitchen, he heard a small groan and his name being called in a very tired, deeper voice._

_“Takashi? Where’d you go?”_

_“You fell asleep, I was going to head back home.” Matt just shook his head, stretching out his arms._

_“Come back, best friend time isn’t over, and you were comfortable.” Shiro blushed again, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat, before making his way back over to the bed._

_Matt smiled when Shiro lay down beside him, moving closer and resting his head on the other’s chest. “That’s better, goodnight Takashi.”_

_It was a few moments before Shiro relaxed and replied the same to his best friend. This was okay, he got to hold the one he loved for a night, he would be okay and for now he could enjoy something he knew he couldn’t have._

~

Shiro pulled into the parking lot of the Garrison, sighing as he turned off the car. Matt laughed, squeezing his hand before unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Oh, don’t be like that, you love your job.”

“Yeah, but I love spending my mornings with you more,” Shiro winked. He watched as Matt’s cheeks reddened slightly.

“Shut up,” he answered before getting out of the car. Shiro laughed, following him out and catching up to the other, interlacing their fingers. They didn’t show too much PDA at work but holding hands while they walked to their separate offices was something they didn’t mind. It’s not like the staff and students didn’t know they were together.

“Alright babe,” Matt smiled turning so he was facing Shiro. “This is where we part, I’ll see you at lunch?” Shiro nodded, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist lightly, knowing it was still too early for any students to be around. Matt’s found their way around Shiro’s neck as he took a step closer.

“Of course, we have a sushi platter to split,” Shiro replied, moving closer himself, before connecting their lips. It was soft and quick, nothing like their first kiss, but it still made him feel the same way, like all their shared kisses did.

~

_Shiro took a deep breath as he was finally in his new room that the Garrison had assigned him. Of course, he was happy to be back on earth and back home, but after being bombarded by questions and crowds, he was finally happy to be alone and in peace and quiet. He was happy that all the other paladins were finally reunited with their families. His own family was still back in Japan. They wouldn’t be at the Garrison for at least a week._

_But there was one person he was looking forward to seeing and that was Matt. From what the others had told him, Matt was alive and well and was out helping the rebellion. But once news got out that they were all back on Earth, he heard Mr. Holt contact Matt about them being back, so hopefully he would get to see his best friend again._

_It had been so long since he’d seen him. For the longest time he was convinced that something had happened to him once they were separated by the Galra. He also blamed himself for what had happened and worst of all, Shiro was convinced he never would have been able to tell Matt how he truly felt._

_When they went on the Kerberos mission, Shiro had promised himself that he would tell Matt how he felt before it was too late, but he never got to. But now that they were back, and Matt was as well, maybe he’d be able to finally tell him._

_Shiro’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. He stood up and was shocked to see who was in front of him._

_“Matt?”_

_“Takashi!” Matt wasted no time in hugging the other tightly, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. Shiro did the same, holding the other’s body close to himself._

_“I missed you.”_

_“I missed you too, Takashi.” After a few more moments, they pulled away from each other, Matt smiling up at him as he pushed the tuft of hair out of Shiro’s eyes. “I like the white hair.”_

_“I like the long hair.” Shiro replied, running his hand through the pony tail lightly, before cupping the other’s cheeks._

_“Mum wants me to cut it.” Matt chuckled before his face became serious and he stepped closer. “Takashi please.” He leaned in closer, “do what we’ve wanted for so long, do what we’ve waited years for.”_

_Shiro needed no more confirmation from the other before closing the distance between them and kissing him. It wasn’t soft and shy like Shiro expected it to be, no it was desperate and fast. There was a bit of clashing teeth as Matt began to push them towards the bed. It was filled with things they always wanted to say to each other but never got the chance to. But now they could. Now they could catch up on all the things they missed when they were younger. They could make up for lost time._

_“I love you, Takashi Shirogane, always have.” Matt mumbled against Shiro’s collarbone when they pulled away for a breath._

_“I love you too, always.” Matt smiled before connecting their lips again, falling into Shiro’s embrace._

~

Matt walked into Shiro’s office, leaning against the doorway as he watched the other finish up a conversation with one of Matt’s fellow professors.

“You ready, love?” Matt asked, walking into the office and going over to wrap his arms around Shiro’s waist in a side hug. They both laughed when Pidge gagged and made a disgusted face (at them).

“Just because I’m your sister, doesn’t mean I want to see you being affectionate with each other. I’m out of here. See you at mum’s on Sunday for dinner,” she said before walking out of the office, closing the door behind her.

“She’s going to hate us, you know.” Matt just laughed, before pulling Shiro closer and kissing him.

“Hmm, that’s alright. I have you,” Matt mumbled against his lips. Shiro chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Takashi, forever and always.”

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Leave some kudos or comments if you like! They're always appreciated!


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